What I've Done
by Light-kun
Summary: One shot. Lemon lime goodness. So, I started off with a rape fic and totally went off base. Summary: Sonic has a fight with his girl friend, and come to my house. Why does he look for me to advice? How can I be unbiased... I... Can't he tell


What I've Done  
_In this farewell_  
As he entered the door, the scent of rain flowed through the room. His fur was soaked, and I rushed to greet him in a sweet embrace. His eyes felt full with tears, as though the idea that anyone would care for him was to much to bear. His eyes appeared soulful, and, I swear, that as I held him, I could feel the heaviness of his heart. He breathed slowly and recounted the argument. Reliving the experience, he grew angry or sorrowful appropriately. His recollection felt so real, and I became fully engrossed in the sad story. He finally revealed his final good bye to her, which led him here. He looked to me for an answer, a reason for his leaving. I, however, was still puzzled by the cause of the fight and inquired to it.  
_There's no blood  
There's no Alibi_  
He shied away from me. I sighed inwardly, feeling completely unable to help him. If he would just open up to me, then maybe . . . I could.

The blue hedgehog sat across from me. He was against the arm of the couch, appearing to be lost in bleak thoughts. I knew he could grow bitter if I did not help him, but I felt biased. My feelings for Sonic ran deeper than mere friendship. In the past, he had been the one to help me. Even when we fought, he stayed by my side. He helped me through the toughest times in my life, but here I am, useless as always. He chose me to help him, but I can think of nothing save my own desire for pleasure. My desire for him.  
_'Cause I've Drawn Regret_  
"Sonic," I finally managed, "I can't help you unless you tell me the reason the fight started. Maybe it is so trivial that it won't even..." He slapped me.

"Don't you ever say that! One's love is never trivial!" He announced in a firm boldness.  
_From the truth  
Of a Thousand Lies_  
"What?" I asked in shock.

"How can you not know? Can't you feel it!?" Sonic's voice trembled, almost collapsing as the words passed his lips. His cheeks glistened from the tears rolling down from his eyes, "She found a love note I wrote, but it wasn't to her."

As he confessed this, my heart simply ceased. My chest felt hollow and empty. Somehow, I managed to accept that Sonic would never be mine. I felt that I would simply learn to live my eternity without even the slightest happiness. However, I could not comprehend this action.

I had always assumed Sonic did not love me because Amy showed him a love greater than any other fur. I could contend that I held a greater passion for him, but I smothered it for fear of rejection. However, if love is not enough for him, then how could I have ever won. Who could possibly show greater affection than Amy?

"Who then, do you love Sonic?" My voice, despite my despair, remained dark and almost cold like normal.

"Shadow..." His voice was weak. He moved closer to me, and I naturally drew back. At my reaction, Sonic looked down, weak. I looked at him, waiting for him to tell me. Yet, it would be I who embraced him, "Do you not love me in return?"

"What?"

"I suppose not, forgive me then."

Had he stated my name as an answer and not an address? Could it be that he...loves me...? The smell of rain again filled my room as the doors open. The gentle thud beyond the ceiling became suddenly noticeable. A gentle song played on my roof, yet it was not until now that I cared to listen.

I ran to him and held him with my hand on his shoulder.

He turned to me saying, "I'm sorry. I pray you will still be my friend, even if it is only when the sun shines."

"I had rather it rain everyday, so that you would stay home with me."  
_So let Mercy Come  
And Wash Away  
What I've Done_  
May God have mercy on me. If only I could have stopped myself, there may be no regret.

_I'll face myself_  
When I wake up every morning, I think, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"  
_To Cross out what I've Become_  
And I imagine taking a blade to slice open my wrists.  
_Erase Myself_  
I know that the world would be better off without me.  
_And let Go of What I've done_  
But, Sonic needs me, and for him I live.

_Put to rest  
What you Thought of Me_  
After his confession of his love for me, I felt taken aback. I had dreamed of this for so long, but I was still so unprepared to actually hear it. He smiled at this reaction, not in amusement. Not in pride, greed, or even lust. No, he had one of those genuine smiles that one would be lucky to see once in a life time. I pulled him from the rain and took his lips to mine. I felt release.

He pressed me against the wall. Sloppily, I managed to shut the door, barely locking it before we progressed to my bedroom. Once there, he pushed me onto the bed, and I looked up into the mirror ceiling.

_While I clean this Slate  
With the Hands of Uncertainty_  
I felt that I looked one on one with myself. We stood on a separate plane, and he accused me of committing myself to immorality. In protest, I claimed that my slate is clean, for it is certain that I lay in lands of uncertainty and question. If it is between the motion and the act that the shadow falls, then let the world know I love him and thus there is my action. If it is certain immorality then damn morality. If it is of uncertainty, I am guilt free. But let it be known that in either case, my love is as pure and benevolent as God, who alone be my judge.

Straddling me, Sonic pealed his shirt from his wet body. After he threw them to the floor, he closed the gap between us and licked gently at my neck, nipping at the skin. As he continued, I felt a desire to take his ear and tease it between my teeth, piercing the skin to draw blood. His fur showed the crimson in brilliant contrast, but it was a minor wound. Sonic did, however, draw back, and he removed himself from my body.

With his knees bent, he leaned over my sheath and gave a long, lazy lick over it. He stopped to tease the rising head, and my legs kicked mildly at the tingling feeling. I felt at his mercy  
_So let Mercy Come  
And Wash Away  
What I've Done_  
After he ceased licking, I managed to finally catch my breath. He lifted my hips and aligned himself with my entrance. He thrust in strongly, closing his eyes as he penetrated me. I gritted my teeth, letting out a slight whine from the act. It felt so releasing. I looked into the red eyes of myself within the mirror and saw the beautiful azure hedgehog over me. I closed my eyes and left me in his hands. May my regrets rest, may my worries ease, and may my love flow from me to him.

_I'll face myself_  
When I wake up every morning, I think, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"  
_To Cross out what I've Become_  
And I imagine taking a blade to slice open my wrists.  
_Erase Myself_  
I know that the world would be better off without me.  
_And let Go of What I've done_  
But, Sonic needs me, and for him I live.

_For What I've Done  
I start again_  
He moved with increased speed. He slid in with ease, thrusting his hips into me. With every force he pushed into me, I felt another thousand volts of painful pleasure shoot through my system. Just as it became too much to take, he kissed me. It was but a sign that he was ready for a sweet release. His seed exploded within me, the beginning to a new start.

_And whatever pain may come  
Today this ends_  
I don't particularly recall what he did after that, but I fell asleep. When I awoke the next morning, I felt his arm wrapped around me. I gently removed it and went to the mirror of my bathroom.

_I'm Forgiving What I've Done!_  
My reflection is the child I never was. He judges me, questions my motives, plays my conscience. He never smiles, and he is always staring at me with cold eyes. He must pity the pathetic wretch I have become.

_I'll face myself_  
When I wake up every morning, I think, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"  
_To Cross out what I've Become_  
And I imagine taking a blade to slice open my wrists.  
_Erase Myself_  
I know that the world would be better off without me.  
_And let Go of What I've done_  
But, Sonic loves me, so I have reason to live.

_What I've Done  
Forgiving What I've Done_  
As I stared at that child, I noticed that the little me, who never was, smiled. As he disappeared, Sonic wrapped his arm around me and whispered a faint, "I will love you for eternity."

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